Linking is awesome

I wish I were a creative genius and could come up with the blog icon that is so richly deserved by Renegade Evolution, who has given up the side bar of her blog to list all the posts, from many different viewpoints that explain what a complete asshole Kyle Payne is.

Linking isn't difficult, but it is a political issue in the blogsophere. Because I cannot spend loads of time reading internet posts, I appreciate beyond measure when somebody collects blog posts on important. So three and more cheers for Renegade Evolution.

Providing fodder for Godwin's law

zenhabits is a productivity website that provides advice on how to simplify and organize your life. I check in every once in a while. I figure if I pick up one or two things a week, I'm making progress. I'm a packrat with wide interests, so a "simple life" is out of the question. Being able to organize my stuff in a way that helps me find it again is my goal.

Leo Babauta is the main author at zenhabits and he's just won an award for his very popular website. He certainly does deliver what his audience wants in a consistent and user-friendly format. And he's very good at giving guest spots to other bloggers as well. Yesterday, he turned the day's content over to Daniel Scocco of Daily Blog Tips. The minute I saw the title, I knew it would take off:

"One Simple Principle to Live by: Purity"

Here's the first couple of sentences:

Today I was having an argument with my girlfriend about her watching Big Brother. Basically I was trying to discourage her from watching it.

OK, to give Scocco, his due, he was proposing a method by which an individual can decide for herself which of two activities to do next. If one seems more "pure", you've got your answer.

But, of course, it wasn't long before he got called out on any number of areas and, yup, Hitler got mentioned within a few hours, thus proving Godwin's law:

As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches one.

It was interesting watching a blog debate on a subject that doesn't interest me at all at the same time I've been reading about a recent kerfluffle in the feminist blogosphere on a different subject.

This started when the lovely Kactus from Super Babymama was guest-posting at Feministe and mentioned her joy at receiving medication for depression. Discussion ensued. Kactus posted again. Elaine Vigneault posted an angry response at her blog claiming she was misunderstood and that everybody else didn't like being criticized.

I finally blundered into the subject from this fabulous post by Daisy and added my own thoughts.

It is really dangerous for me to post this for a couple of reasons. I haven't read even half of the threads I linked. I could be posting to all kinds of stuff I find personally abhorrent.

But via a quick scan, I found something that really impressed me from the zenhabits thread. Rebecca commented:

I work really hard and am a pretty pure and productive person 95% of my life - can I please watch my one hour a week of Project Runway?

I resemble that comment! Love the show. Happily "waste" my time watching it and commenting about it with co-workers and web friends.

So here's my zen suggestions:

Stop attacking people for making lifestyle decisions different from your own.

Stop assuming everyone else is a tool of big pharma or mainstream media or some other magical force that only you have the brilliance and wisdom to identify.

But most of all, stop assuming that people on anti-depressants aren't out smashing capitalism side by side with people who choose to not medicate!

To assume or not to assume

I've recently been insulted by a blogger I will refer to as Ms. X. that I have considered a friend for quite a while. Here's her capper:

"That kind of stuff is worthy of Bill Clinton, no[t] you."

I'm not going to link to the post because it contains private e-mails from another blogger, Ms. Y, I also consider a friend that have been posted without her permission.

That crosses a line for me. If you have to make your point about a private conversation, find a creative way to do it. Posting someone's private e-mail and address is not only wrong, it's fucking lazy.

The issue is a private e-mail list. Ms. X's original post mentioned some private e-mail lists she'd heard of among feminists. Finding out there were private lists pissed Ms. X off. Ms. X infers that private e-mail lists are all about "posses". A posse is a group of supporters a blogger can count on to come to her defense whenever anyone dares to question her behavior. So for Ms. X, it seemed, participation in a private e-mail list was equivalent to fomenting posses. She asked her readers to offer reasons why they would participate in such a list.

There are all kinds of private mailing lists and I have been on several over the years. I offered reasons why I believe private conversations in a mailing list and out of the public eye are useful and healthy.

In Ms. X's next comment, she mentions a specific list and a specific list owner, Ms. Y, without naming the list itself. I happen to be on a mailing list owned by Ms. Y. The list I'm a member of is private.

Is Ms. X talking about the private mailing list I'm on or is she talking about another private mailing list owned by Ms. X? I don't know. I'd have to learn a lot more about the list before I can make that decision. Also, of course, I have pledged privacy to Ms. Y and I intend to uphold that pledge. But I don't feel as if I'm in danger of violating that privacy simply by interacting with Ms. X in a conversation about the usefulness of private mailing lists in general.

Next Ms. X claims that she was banned from a specific private mailing list owned by Ms. Y and that she is receiving traffic directly from that private mailing list. Understandably, this makes Ms. X feel bad. People are linking to her blog posts directly from this private list and Ms. X can see that in her blog statistics. Ms. X asks that members of the list from which she was banned either speak with Ms. X directly or copy and paste her posts to the mailing list, rather than linking.

This is also the post in which Ms. X starts revealing private discussions between herself and Ms. Y. She claims Ms. Y told her her presence on the mailing list would be unwelcome. This leads Ms. X to believe that Ms. Y is using this mailing list to say bad things about her behind her back. Combine that with the direct linking and you've got a recipe for paranoia.

Or not.

Here's a couple of reasons why paranoia might not be the first stop for that particular conclusion train.

First and foremost, there are lot of reasons why people on private mailing lists post links to other people's blogs. List members may be linking to posts they admire. List members may be linking to posts they don't understand, so that they ask for clarification from fellow list members. If you are a blogger that has posted about feminism consistently and for a long time, it is likely you will be linked by other feminists. Pretty cool.

Second, there is a fundamental misunderstanding of privacy that is going to be a trend in this story. Ms. Y happens to have a healthy respect for privacy and private conversation. I hadn't read Ms. Y revealing any private conversations. No mention of banning, no mention of unwelcome bloggers.

A commenter asks a question about why Ms. X was banned, and this prompts Ms. X to post a series of private e-mails between herself and Ms. Y.

Now a new story emerges. Rather than being banned, it is revealed the Ms. X wanted to JOIN the mailing list. Ms. Y replies that the list is in a rough period and the membership is currently frozen. Ms. Y assures Ms. X that there will be future opportunities to participate in private mailing lists together.

Do you see how things are shifting now? At first the argument is that mailing lists are bad. Now it is revealed that Ms. X wanted to join a list and was told she could not.

I responded in shock that Ms. X would post private e-mails. But I want to keep the discussion going. I point out that lots of people aren't comfortable with direct interaction. People say bad things behind our backs. The thing to remember is that I'm not going to change my opinion of Ms. X based on gossip (and remember, nobody has gossiped about Ms. X at this point). I pledged that I'd judge Ms. X by my own standards and that I'd expect she would do the same for me.

Alas, not true. Time for another side trip on the wayward conclusion train.

Ms. X now claims that horrible things are being said about her behind her back by someone who pretends to be a friend to her face. Next, she asserts that the mailing list she wanted to join is, in actuality, a list designed specifically to reject her and another blogger. She now returns to the argument that private mailing lists are always bad.

If you've read this far, and seen the twists and turns, I suppose you have figured out what a losing cause my further participation is. But I try to take Ms. X at her word. She claims that our friend, Ms. Y, has created a list whose purpose is to exclude her and talk about her behind her back. This obviously isn't the list I'm on, since Ms. X isn't a topic of discussion there.

But, maybe Ms. Y need to vent somewhere and has created the "I hate Ms. X" mailing list. Maybe she has recruited members from all over the internets. Perhaps they have badges, and cute little names and a theme song.

OK, maybe not.

Many comments ensue and eventually, the mailing list is named.

Yup. It's the one I'm on. Of course it's in completely unrecognizable form. I've got to wonder where Ms. X is getting these crazy ideas about the content of a list she isn't allowed to read. And now that she's revealed the name of the list, she feels free to reveal that I am a member of that list.

Remember what I said about privacy? I intended to keep my pledge to Ms. Y. But Ms. X didn't want to let that happen. So not only does Ms. Y's privacy get tossed to wind, but Ms. X chooses to throw mine along for the ride.

I suppose I should be angry.

Yes, the thread is patently absurd.

MailingList/Bad, MailingList/Good, MailingList/Bad.

But, dammit, I respected this woman right up until that thread. I've learned from her. I've laughed with her. I want her to be healthy and ready to rock and roll. I want to read more of her wonderful thoughts and opinions and be able to follow along as her mind zips from one interesting subject to another.

She's not there now. She's in a bad place. I'm not what she needs right now.

I hope one day she'll be back blogging and making me laugh and cry and think and smile.

Don't miss it!

This awesome video is from the fabulous Sudy! Enjoy!

Are you a good German?

Stolen from bint alshamsa!

Your Score: The Expatriate

Achtung! You are 30% brainwashworthy, 27% antitolerant, and 19% blindly patriotic

Congratulations! You are not susceptible to brainwashing, your values and cares extend beyond the borders of your own country, and your Blind Patriotism does not reach unhealthy levels. If you had been German in the 30s, you would've left the country.





One bad scenario -- as I hypothetically project you back in time -- is that you just wouldn't have cared one way or the other about Nazism. Maybe politics don't interest you enough. But the fact that you took this test means they probably do. I'm gonna give you the benefit of the doubt.


Did you know that many of the smartest Germans departed prior to the beginning of World War II, because they knew some evil shit was brewing? Brain Drain. Many of them were scientists. It is very possible you could have been one of them.



Conclusion: born and raised in Germany in the early 1930's, you would not have been a Nazi.

The Would You Have Been A Nazi? Test

- it rules -

Link: The Would You Have Been a Nazi Test written by jason_bateman on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test

Mingle² - Online Dating

This rating was determined based on the presence of the following words:

death (4x)
queer (3x)
bitch (2x)
fucking (1x)

Feminist Links

Feminist Philosophers blog could be interesting.

let them eat pro-sm feminist safe spaces is a joint blog from my blogging buddies belledame222, Trinity and antiprincess plus verte, who I don't know yet.

Not hiding, just busy

Lots of stuff to do lately that don't involve blogging.

I got called to fill in at one of the local used bookstores I used to work at more often. Had to go in first last Wednesday to get trained in on the cash register as well as how to close up, including counting the till, etc. The owner is referring to me as "Super Nanny" -- she only calls me when one of her regular workers needs time off. I used to accept $6 an hour, but now I'm taking my pay in books: which equals $11 an hour. With every book half price, that adds up wonderfully.

On Thursday night, my youngest daughter went to her college gradution ceremony. It was huge with hundreds of students. I spent much of the night outside trying to catch up on my reading, but miraculously I went back in just in time to see her pick up her diploma. She looked great and she certainly deserves her reward after all her work.

On Friday night, I attended a going away party for one of my Iraqi friends who is heading back home for a few months. It was a lot of fun and some great Middle Eastern food.

On Saturday, I met with my book group: 5 wonderful friends who've been meeting together for nearly 15 years. From 5 to 10 p.m. I worked my shift at the bookstore and managed to sell a number of good books.

On Sunday, I went in to work to continue creating maps and graphics for a book I'm creating that my Mom wrote. It's been keeping me busy since August. I'm nearly done, so every little bit is a step closer to the end.

Then in the afternoon we heard from my brother in law. He was in the hospital! Turns out he went with a bunch of friends to walk the beautiful paths along the Mississippi River and he went over a cliff. He had to be rescued by firemen repelling down the cliff face and then being lowered onto a rescue boat. He scraped everything and was unconscious for a short time. He broke no bones, thank the goddess. We spent the rest of Sunday getting him out of the hospital and recovering his car, his keys, his cell phone and making sure he wasn't showing signs of a concussion. He's doing amazingly well while aching over every bit of his body.

Meanwhile, I'm busy this week. On Wednesday, I'm driving an out-of-town writer around. I'm halfway through his book and I must say I'm hugely disappointed. The question is will I be honest with him when I meet him, or just be a mute little service worker meeting his needs in an unknonwn city. We'll see.

Amidst all this, I've also picked up Jessica Valenti's "Full Frontal Feminism". I'm about halfway through and will comment when I'm done. I am following the blog debates about the book and I'm fascinated that people who I respect have strikingly different responses.

So much for the catching up. Hopefully I'll be back to useful blogging sometime soon.

Take Back the Blog



Crablaw is hosting a "Take Back the Blog" blogstorm on April 28, 2007.

The goal is both to provide a convenient compilation of (undoubtedly excellent) content for readers' benefit and to make a show of strength and of organization within the blogosphere from bloggers with different perspectives towards common concerns.

If the term "blogswarm" does not appeal to you, that's ok! You can call it a "virtual march" or, if you contribute, anything you like!

NEW: HOW TO SUBMIT POSTS to the Take Back the Blog! Blogswarm. I have set up a new email address at:

TBTB2007@crablaw.com

solely to receive links for TBTB. If you don't have a blog, but want to contribute, email me and we will work something out. The "cut-off" time will be 7 PM on Saturday, April 28. Submitting early is GREAT - whenever you find it convenient,

Join in!

Five questions meme

via Belledame

Here's the deal:

Leave me a comment saying, "Interview me."

I respond by asking you five personal questions so I can get to know you better. If I already know you well, expect the questions may be a little more intimate!

You WILL update your journal/bloggy thing/whatever with the answers to the questions.

You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the post.

When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

So, here were my five:

1) What's your (a) secret vice?

I'm not very secretive about my vices. Buying books I don't get around to reading. Red wine, Romantic movies.

2) Aside from ravens, are there animals you feel closely connected to? (if so, what?)

Cats, dogs, Jersey cows (they have beautiful eyes!).

3) How do you feel about: "religion is the opiate of the masses"?

Yup. Spirituality, on the other hand, is more like chocolate or caffeine.

4) What's the best way to stay warm when it's 25 below?

You don't. But layers can help you survive.

5) What did you have for dinner tonight?

Vegetarian spaghetti and garlic bread.

OK, any takers?

Playing with the layout

Tonight I started playing around in the new blogger tools. Since I don't have the choice anymore to stay with the old blogger, I might as well play with the new one.

Something about myself: I am a "dragged-kicking-and-screaming" adapter. I bought a CD player last year because I figured they were finally catching on. This year we bought a TV with a built-in DVD player so we could try out that new technology. The thing tanked after a couple of months, but it was fun while it lasted.

Being forced to upgrade in Blogger was a trauma I managed to survive.

About 10 years ago I watched an amazing exodus of skilled workers: printers and pressmen, become extinct as technology raced past them. I figured typesetters were next, but a few of us survive.

I'm all about print and I get it. I know what works and what doesn't on the printed page. I can kern a document within an inch of its life. I can make type sing off the page. I can make it invisible so that thoughts flow directly from the page directly nto your consciousness with no distractions or side trips.

So it's bizarre to be communicating in pixels. HTML coding is not that different from traditional cold type. I know I could learn it if I put in the effort.

But, you know, I bought a CD player last year because I believed they were catching on. I bought a DVD player this year.