All your translations are belong to us

Today at Megacorporation, there was a fitness fair, which involved various health clubs providing materials, representatives and discounts for employees at local health clubs. One of the health clubs gave out a tiny plastic pedometer with these delightful instructions:

Stepping Meter

Product Characteristic
Counting the Step

Wearing Instruction
1) When Starting to count the meter, the display show "00000"

2) Using the clip that behind the unint to fix the stepping meter horizontally.

Operational Manual
1) This stepping meter can only count currectly under the flat plant.

2) Under the following condition, the stepping meter can't count correctly:

(i) Moon Walking, Wearing Sandal

(ii) When walking in the tricky condition.

(iii) Vibration without walking.

3) The stepping meter can be rest by pressing "Reset" Button

------

This reminds me of a lovely product one of my co-workers at Former Employer Who Stole Our 401K funds. It was a "Mr. Microphone" sort of product that was bought in Japan. The package was in Engrish (Japanese translated badly). One phrase became a favorite around the shop and we would use it to explain the unexplainable. The product had this special feature:

"The drama speech on the stage as real as possible!"

Try it out. Say it enough times it it feels like it's the answer to everything!