You Know You're From Minnesota When...

The weather is usually 80% of your conversation. When you say "down south" you're referring to Iowa. You call highways "freeways." Snow tires came standard on your car. You've never taken public transportation. 75% of your graduating high school class went to the University of Minnesota. "Perkins" was the only hangout option in high school. You assume when you say "The Cities" people know where you're talking about. You can list all the "-dales." People from other states love to hear you say words with "o"s in them. In a conversation you've heard someone say "yah sure, you betcha" and you didn't laugh. You could pinpoint exactly where each scene in the movie "Untamed Heart" was filmed. You hate the movie "Fargo" but realize you and your entire family have that same accent. You get mad at people who think Fargo is in Minnesota. You know what Mille Lacs is and how to spell it. You have fish boiled in lye for Christmas. You know what "uff-da" means and how to use it properly. You know the 2 sports-related reasons why we hate Dallas. Nothing gets you madder than seeing a Green Bay sticker on a MN car. The only reason you go to Wisconsin is to get fireworks. You're a loyal Target shopper. You've frozen your tongue on a metal handrail before. You own an ice house, a snowmobile, and a 4 wheel drive vehicle. You wear shorts when it's 50 degrees outside in March, but you bundle up and complain in August when it goes below 60. You have gone trick-or-treating in 3 feet of snow. You've not only walked across a lake, you've driven across one. Everyone you know has a cabin or, at least, access to one. You know that Lake Wobegon isn't real and you know who made it up, where they live, and exactly what you want to do about it. You have friends who schedule their wedding in the middle of January without a thought about weather conditions. You consider a six inch snowfall a blessing for "the cities" because it provides instant urban renewal. You keep the snow tires on your truck all year because it ain't worth taking them off for only two months. Your local Dairy Queen is closed from December through February. You believe the only REAL vehicles have skis in front and a loud motor under your seat. You consider snow banks to be "just another rough" on the golf course. You have worn shorts and a parka at the same time. You were delighted to get a miniature snow shovel for your 3rd birthday. Your town isn't trying to be ironic when it plans a "winter carnival." The temperature in March is above freezing for three days in a row, and you think it's summer. You laugh out loud every time you see a news report about a blizzard shutting down the entire East Coast. You think happiness is owning a "piece of lakeshore." You never meet any celebrities except The "BODY" You know what and where "Dinkytown" is. When you talk about "opener" you are not talking about cans. You have refused to buy something because it's too "spendy." You believe that the Vikings would have won four Super Bowls by now if they were still playing in Metropolitan Stadium. You are convinced the Twins will never win the pennant because the owners are too cheap to pay the good players, so they all leave. Your town has an equal number of bars and churches. You grew up thinking rice was only for dessert. You think that ketchup is a little too spicy. Your gas station thinks "full service" means filling your gas tank, washing the windshield, checking the oil and being friendly to the customers. You (or your parents) voted for Mondale. You've seen "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" in Uptown. You know that everyone has a city preference -- Minneapolis or St. Paul. You can honestly claim Germanic / Scandinavian ancestors, and have been known to say "ya" instead of "yes" Upon seeing an ocean for the first time, you say, "Hey! That looks like Lake Superior!" You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Minnesota.

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